


Relationships

by heavenly-glance (SidneyHam)



Series: shadowhunters episode codas [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Episode: s02e06 Iron Sisters, M/M, malec first date
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-11
Updated: 2017-02-11
Packaged: 2018-09-23 10:58:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9653021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SidneyHam/pseuds/heavenly-glance
Summary: Coda for 2x06, Magnus and Alec go on their first date and discuss their relationship. A character study of sorts for Alec during the episode.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back again with another episode coda! Dialogue is straight from the episode but the rest is basically Alec's point of view from the whole night, considering my last fic was from Magnus' POV.
> 
> Enjoy!!
> 
> (edit: fixed the formatting error!)

Alec turns to leave the loft, confused as to why Magnus felt the need to send a false emergency fire message when he knew how busy Alec was at the institute.

“I’m not okay,” Magnus breathes out. Alec stops, his back facing the warlock. "Because you’re not okay.”

And he wants to protest, because he’s _fine_ , really. As long as he keeps busy, he doesn’t have to think about the mess he’s gotten himself and Clary into. But before he can say anything, he hears Magnus walk around him so they’re face to face again.

“Alexander, you’ve been to hell and back, and you haven’t stopped for a second, taken a moment for yourself.”

“Magnus, we’re in the middle of a war.” Alec pleads. He doesn’t /want/ to take a moment, to let his mind go dark, to remember Clary’s face when she sees her mother lying on the floor. After _he_  killed her. He doesn’t want to give himself a chance to hear her broken “ _Mom!_ ” at the funeral. He won’t let himself do that, why can’t Magnus get it?

“There will always be a war, a mission, a problem to solve. Look, I speak from experience. If you fail to grant time for the things that you care about, you’ll forget why you’re even fighting at all.”

Alec has to stop and think about that, _really_  think. He cares about so many people that he couldn’t imagine forgetting why he’s fighting for them. He’ll always fight for his family, his parents, Jace, Izzy, and Max. He wouldn’t stop and question himself for them. And upon further consideration, he finds he cares for a few more that he surprisingly wouldn’t have before; Clary, Lydia, _Magnus_. And he gets it now, why Magnus wanted him to take a break. He doesn’t want Alec to forget about him, to go back to being just a soldier, but the man that Magnus now knows him to be.

He takes a deep breath. “Okay. What do you have in mind?” he asks. And the way Magnus’ face lights up at that, _that's_  why he does it. If Alec won’t take care of himself and let go for a couple of hours, Magnus will make him, and that’s why he agrees. Because he sees how much the warlock cares for him.

 

\--

 

What Magnus had in mind, in fact, was to finally have that first date. At Hunter’s Moon, to be exact, where no one would question Magnus’ presence. It was Alec’s idea to play pool. Watching Magnus pout as he takes shot after shot was amusing at first, but then he just felt _bad_  for the guy.

“Can’t win ‘em all,” he says after purposefully missing a shot. Alec’s definitely got a competitive streak in him, but he also knows when to take it easy on his opponent. After all, he _did_  want the guy to like him.

But with all of Magnus’ skills in basically everything (what couldn’t that man do?), Alec really should have seen this coming.

“Haven’t you heard the saying? If you can’t find the one being hustled in a pool hall,” Magnus bends down over the table, a devastating smirk painting his face with mischief, “then it’s probably you.” He doesn’t even look down his cue before making a perfect shot. And Alec is frozen in place. He doesn’t know how one man can make pool, _of all things_ , sexy. But somehow, Magnus does it, and Alec is stunned.

 

“Okay?” The warlock asks, as if he’s worried he’d hurt Alec’s feelings.

“Okay.” Alec licks his lips, suddenly feeling terribly parched.

“Okay?”

“Yeah, let’s play.” And _fuck_  if he wasn’t so turned on he would’ve been able to keep up the banter, but he decided if he wanted to win, he’d better just focus on the game.

 

In the end, it didn’t matter. Magnus smoked his ass anyway. Alec couldn’t find it in himself to care.

 

\--

 

It starts to get awkward while Alec is on his second drink, some cocktail that’s way too strong, but Magnus ordered it for him so he drinks it anyway. He wishes he could blame the conversation on the alcohol.

“Wait,” Magnus looks confused, which is never a good sign. “Lydia. Was she your only ex?” _And this is how it all falls apart_ , Alec muses in his head.

“I just haven’t had the time, for a real relationship.” Magnus looks at him with something in his eyes that Alec can’t place but doesn’t like the look of, so he takes a sip of the cocktail to try and distract them away from this conversation. “This,” he points to the glass as he winces, “this is good.” he finishes with a second grimace. Alec’s reminded why he doesn’t drink, because it all tastes like… burning.

“Alexander, just so I’m clear, have you _ever_  been in a relationship?” Magnus inquires. And fuck, there it is, the question he’s been hoping to avoid all night.

The thing is, Alec wants to lie, to say yes and move on. But he can’t seem to make words come out of his mouth. He opens and closes it several times before he realizes that he probably looks like a fish out of water, gasping for air. He feels like a fish out of water, too. Completely out of his comfort zone where the night is under his control. So he says nothing, just sits down on the stool next to Magnus, the man he so desperately /wants/ to be in a relationship with, hoping that the night gets better.

 

It does, for a while, when Alec shares a small bit of his insecurities.

 

“I didn’t want to feel like there was something wrong with me, because I grew up in the Institute, because I always knew I couldn’t have what I wanted.” He turns his head ever so slightly to gaze pointedly at Magnus. “Until you came along.”

“Nothing’s wrong with you. Far from it.” The raw emotion in Magnus’ voice makes his heart speed up. Because no one’s ever told him that he wasn’t wrong. He’d spent most of his life feeling broken and out of place, never feeling anything towards the girls at the academy, only the boys that he trained with. When he first admitted to himself that he was gay, it was years after the first time he ever wanted to kiss a boy. He’d denied it for so long, only acknowledging it after the memory demon took one of Alec’s memories of Jace. He only just came to terms with it when he decided that no one would be married on his wedding day.

So hearing it from Magnus - a man he clearly had feelings for - felt like a blessing from the Angel. He wasn’t broken, he wasn’t wrong, he was just _Alec_ , who happened to not be straight. He was different, and Magnus was there to tell him that it was a good thing. It was almost too much.

 

\--

 

“It’s not a trick question. You can round down, if you want.” By the Angel this _had_  to be the alcohol talking now, because Alec told himself he wouldn’t go there. That he wouldn’t ask about Magnus’ past lovers, and hey here they are. Alec wants to slap himself for asking such a stupid question.

 

But Magnus tells him. Not without a misunderstanding on Alec’s part, but he’s honest with him. Sure, the number might not be exactly 17,000 but it’s high enough that Alec doesn’t pry for more details. He doesn’t want to know. He just wants to go home.

 

\--

 

They walk the entire way back to Magnus’ loft in silence. It’s peaceful, but certainly not pleasant. When they arrive, the air in the apartment is thick with tension.

 

When Alec asks if he thinks they’re too different, Magnus doesn’t give him a clear answer. And that’s really all he needed to know before muttering “I should go,” and turning his back on the man he’d just had his first ever date with.

It had been fun, the teasing banter, getting to know each other over drinks and a game of pool. It felt easy. But for Magnus, Alec thinks, it must’ve felt so much more _mundane_  than what he’d been used to. A simple game of pool couldn’t compare to 17,000 other nights with his former partners.

Alec’s heart strains in his chest, begging him to stop, to think, do anything other than walk out on Magnus. Because the bottom line was that he’d had fun with Magnus, and he wanted _more_. But he couldn’t imagine that Magnus was interested in him, at least not now that he knew how inexperienced Alec was.

He turns around and walks back to Magnus, feeling the tiniest bit more confident when he announces “I don’t care how many people you’ve been with.” He just needs to know how Magnus feels about him. He needs to know if this is worth pursuing.

 

“I don’t care how many people you haven’t been with.” Magnus all but whispers, something akin to shock on his face.

 

It’s Alec’s turn to be taken aback now. He’d hoped that Magnus would say that, but he didn’t want to get his head stuck up in the clouds. Yet here they were, confessing how much they mean to each other. And suddenly the distance between them felt too far, even though it was only a little more than a foot, at most. Slowly, Alec takes a few strides towards Magnus, holding eye contact the entire time to make sure he’s read the situation correctly.

When Magnus doesn’t protest, just closes his eyes when there’s only inches between them, then Alec closes the distance. And Alec feels like he’s home. His lips melt against Magnus’ warm ones as they lean into each other. It’s not like their first kiss, which was desperate, full of energy with Alec clinging to Magnus like a lifeline. No, this kiss was soft and slow, almost like they were asking each other if this was okay.

It was more than okay. But the kiss was over in seconds, lips still tingling as they breathe in each other’s air, unwilling to step back from the comfort of their closeness. When Alec speaks, he almost cringes at how utterly _wrecked_  he sounds from just one kiss.

“I hear that uh, relationships, they uhm - they take effort.” He manages to get the words out, just barely. It’s not what he wanted to say. He wanted to say “thank you,” to say “I’m willing to fight for this,” and  “I’m willing to put effort in for you, for us, for this relationship.”

But Magnus understands, responding in his own way, “I’m all for effort.” Alec breathes out a sigh of relief he’d been waiting to let go for so long, ever since they first sat down at the bar. Magnus what this too, wanted _him_. He was offering to be Alec’s first relationship, his _boyfriend_ , and by the Angel, how could Alec not want him. He tries to get closer to Magnus, so he can kiss him again and convey through his lips what his heart wanted to say.

  
And then Jace walks in.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr @ winteralec so we can suffer together!


End file.
